Erge to Blog.

Feeling: Angry.
Watching: Keeping Up with the Kardashians.

Hey everyone,
Oh my gawwww* I’m finding a sense deep down in my stomach that’s MAKING me blog. Seriously*. To be honest I’m just really irritated for a few things. I guess because I’m overwhelmed with a ton of things on my mind. For one thing…

Tatyana’s 2^nd Birthday Party:
Now, this has been twirling in my head over and over and over and I’m just overly stressed about the whole thing… why? Because, we’re putting it on Maui and to think about it her birthday is just 2 months away & that month will DEFINITELY be one of the busiest two-three weeks. Because on the 5^th is my cousin Tisha’s wedding and then I need to be back on Maui because Tee’s birthday is the following week. I’m debating if i’m just going to do a traditional party just random whatever theme or do her favorite Elmo. My sister-in-law is playing a HUGE part in this party because SHE’S living at the house (my grandparents place where the party will be) and she knows where all the hot spot places are (for example: affordable catering businesses, party stores) there isn’t any here. So, that’s the stressing part. I have to do the guest list, goodie bag count, and blaaaah. It’s driving me frickin’ bananas! I got just the date planned and that’s about it. What the hell is my problem right? I mean, I could always make it the following week. So instead of the first saturday after her birthday I could do it the following just to ease my stress just by 10%. It’s something. Any ideas? I need ideas for: Games, goodies ideas (inside&decor), theme or no theme? I’m just doing just basically a Elmo theme & then you know? Idkkk. omg, it’s driving me nutssss.

On-Line Life:
I really want to do some work on my page but it’s just not happening right now with Tee’s party it’s taking a lot of my energy and it’s definitely putting a block up. At least, I’ve found the erge to blog, right? I’ve blogged hop for the past hour. I’m hoping that i’ll get SOME exposure. I’ll continue to do that. But, for some odd reason i’m disregarding the LOOOOONG posts. Sorry folks. My old hostee, Dee, which is also my best friend has brought her blogspot back up. I’m suppose to host her but we keep putting it on the back burner. I told her to just let me know when she’s ready. I’ve added a new BC sisters to my blog crew for both Sweetess BC & for Bella Roses’ BC. Her name is Aimee, AnneMarie who I just found out is from Hawaii (mmy hawaii sissterrrr), and Jhoice. I’ve neglected a lot but i’m hoping to hop back soon.

Off-Line Life:
To be honest. My personal life has just been a mess. No, it’s not with my hubbie. It’s my family. I don’t know how much of you have been reading and keeping up with my blogs or even my twitter—me & my mom haven’t spoken since fathers day weekend. Yeah, how sick & sad? Whatever though. It’s a very long story. It’s just pointless to be fighting as stupid kids. But, I don’t know whatever. hahah hear me ramble! Everything has been ‘decent’ on the home-front which has been pleasant. I’ve had 25 letters to respond to since i’ve gone on vacation. I love coming back to PILES of mail why? Because its like I FEEL LOVED (= Oh yehhhh. So, it’s just fun. I’m like addicted to watching the Kardashians (= And, speaking of the Kardashians I love how they’re such a close knit family. Like, they might fight & bicker but they are still close. That’s why, I want more children. People think i’m crazy, people might think i’m stupid. But, I never had that growing up. Yes, I did have siblings all halves. My big brother I never met (and until today i’m still looking for he & i are like 5 years apart), my sister below me could give a damn i’m alive, my baby sister that i helped watch grow up she’s only going to be 11 so just think we’re 13 years apart, and i have a baby sister i never met. So, the way I look at is I grew up alone. My bff, Jay, is the closest to my sister i’ll have. So, I want a close knit family for MY kids. Am I wrong for wanting that? My own judgmental family tells me i’m crazy—but my mom & her brother & sisters are close knit like I’ve dreamt of having. So, why is it that—I shouldn’t have that same dream for my own family? I’ve always grown up worrying about what others might think for once can’t this just be about ME.

Back.to.Reality

Feeling: Good.
RIP Billy Mays.

Hello everyone,
Yes you’ve read it right. I’m back to reality. Which to tell you the truth it feels too damn good. I want to say I miss my family but to tell you the truth the drama was so severe back home that I just was ready to leave. But, for the most part, I’m thinking about them. Okay, I won’t lie I miss them a little. Nothings like being home… right? Okay whatever.

Anyways, Have ya’ll heard Billy Mays died. For those of you who might not know who he is that’s the guy that does the OxiClean commercial. Ain’t it just amazing to how much people are dying? It’s like Farrah Fawcett then MJ man who’s next? *knock on wood*.

But it’s okay live goes on they say. Ugh. So, i’m hoping to be BACK now that i’m home. I mean, i’m going to definitely blog hop! I just feel so out of the loop with my favorites (don’t get offended not one bit because NOBODY knows who my favorite is. Don’t assume things either.) hahaha. So, I really don’t know what to talk about. It’s like extremely hot in my house right now and it’s driving me frickin insane. I’m going to leave you with this.

♥ M Y I S L A N D H O M E

Haleakala, Maui

RIP MJ.

Feeling: Content.
Watching: Y&R.
RIP MJ.

Hi everyone.
A very legendary singer died today. Which I’m really shocked at because my cousin Jean has loved him for MANY years and being that I was at her house half the time it was like I grew up with him surrouding me. So, yes it’s true. Michael Jackson has died at the age of 50. Man, he’s so young! Even Farrah Fawcett died. My goodness why is everyone dying? I mean, I know it’s bound to happen but it’s starting to freak me sad >_<

On other news, my hubbie is coming to Maui tomorrow to take us home. Yeah, he always comes towards the end of my vacation to make it a lot easier for me to take the plane back home. With a very active toddler it gets REALLY hard to keep my head on straight. My head has been spinning for days! Well, yesterday I did spend half of my day with my bestie, Jay. Man, she drives me nuts. Going on the town with her SHOPPING sometimes is a bad thing because she’s SUCH a perfectionist it’s rough. She was going shopping for a new outfit for a party she’s attending on saturday and OMG she went through 9 dresses in less than 20 minutes. So, it’s like ERRR OMG! But for the most part, it’s just good.

i’m seriously sad about Michael Jackson. Well i have to get going. I’m going to the beach. Toodles.

More Z’s.

Feeling: Tired
Watching: Army Wives.

Hey Good Morning my lovelies,
I hope that you coming on at this moment my site finds you in good graces. Somebody rubbed me the WRONG way this morning and I’m more than selfish at the moment. This is coming from ME the “SO-CALLED” down-to-earth princess. I’m literally SO tired of all these damn judgemental people.

So yesterday it was SUCH a good day. Nothing but enjoyment. Why? Well, I spent A LOT of time with the bestie. My best friend, Jay, picked me up around noon and we did A TON of errands. She’s such a spoiled brat her boyfriend bought her EXPENSIVE shoes! LMao. I went to Ross (because we don’t have one) to buy my “Fathers Day” gift. Yeah sad right? But, I bought Jon a new FRYING pan for FD. Guess what? I’m the one that needs it. Isn’t it just the greatest thing… I buy things that I need as a gift for my other half. Lmao. Oooh yaaa. Well, my bestie & I didn’t do much but run around the town like chickens on our necks. It was hilarious. When her & I get together we do nothing but act like the kids we are. We went shopping, ate mexican food (yum!) and shopped even more! It was so much fun! I really wanted to go to the beach but apparently it was REALLY windy so it just wasn’t happening.

I’m suppose to go to the beach with my family today but I don’t think I will be. I’m too tired. Last night I had the hardest time sleeping. Like seriously! It’s no fun! And, finally when it was TIME to go to bed I ended up having to wake up because my aunty needed me to drop her off (to your jog route). Oh please. Now, i’m just exhausted. I either have to go back to bed or drink some coffee or something!

Oh, thanks for all the comments about my whole family situation. Because boy drama its no fun either. But you know what? I’m over it. When I go home they just might not hear from me. That’s how sad it is around here. I’m just fed up with it. You know? You can only tolerate SO much of the irritation! And, i’m definitely at that wit end. For one thing, it’s clear to me that if my family has the nerve to “talk ish” behind my back then I DON’T NEED THEM. Because there is NO family out there that should be talking behind ANYONES back especially if it’s “FAMILY”. It’s terrible! I have my own family now just JON, TATY & I. You know? So, it’ll always just be us. At least, we know we’ll never talk behind each others back—YA KNOW?

Anyways, I have to go! I’m going to finish my Army Wives! I need more sleep. >_<

Fathers Day BBQ.

Feeling: Very disturbed.
Watching: Nothing Special.
Plugging: Gillian and Mara.

HI everyone. Of course, like always I love the comments ya’ll give. I’m now pleased with all the comments I have and I’m no longer begging for comments. The love remains the way I want it to [: It pleases me in the right way possible. So, I’m so over this vacation. Seriously? Why you’d ask? I’m with my family what the hell could I be bothered by… It’s mainly my grandpa. Today he said the most painful thing in the world to me today that I didn’t deserve—- AT ALL! Let me get to that point in a bit. So, my aunty & I did manage to work out 6.4 miles. Yeah, she jogged but I did ride bike. You ought to be insane if you see me running. Psssh. Okay so, after that we came home and chilled. We took a shower and headed towards the swap meet (aka Flea Market). It was a very hot day >.< So we did our thing and went home. Then, when we got home we discovered my daughter had diaper rash. I mean, she was screaming histerically because it hurt. But, she's had it before... I know what the hell i'm doing. So, my grandpa bust out "you don't deserve to be a mother, you too young to have a baby you don't know nothing"... we 1)my daughter has been alive for 22 months now and she’s healthy, 2) she is a very happy SMILEY baby and 3) I know what the fuck i’m doing. My god, yes parenting has it’s challenges but isn’t that the point of GROWING UP? Is to experience that kinda shit. She’s had diaper rash before what the hell are they thinking I don’t know what the fuck I’m doing? My god! I shouldn’t have came to this damn place. I just should’ve stayed away from my family!

Then, last night my step dad, my mom, and my aunty was gossiping no waiiit TALKING SHIT about someone and it just HAD to be me! Because, I walked into the room and my step-dad cleared his throat as though he was warning everyone that I walked into the room! I don’t care what the hell they were talking about they should’ve just not made it so much noticable! IT’s fucking bullshit. Other than that, I hate my life right now. LIke, I don’t deserve this kinda shit from ANYONE. Not only me! Everyone who goes to my situation don’t deserve it. I’m a good mom and I know I am!

I need to go to the beach! I’m suppose to go and give my great-grandparents flowers at the cemetary today but I’ve got too many ugly in my heart right now i’m scared i’m going to get posessed. Happy Fathers Day to all them daddys out there.